I had a really shocking realization this week. I don’t really know what I want to be for the rest of my life. Not really. Not yet. This week we’re saying repeatedly, “I can be what I will to be.” Hmmmm.
I’m grieving because I had thought I had settled that years ago. But the truth is that it was settled because I had settled. My vision was what was possible. My goals were what was doable. My action steps were gritty, will-driven, and so intense that a good bit of the time I felt stressed out and in overwhelm trying to get them all done. Don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. But I’m realizing that I do what I do to create cash flow like everyone around me. If I didn’t have to worry about cash flow, I’d do the same things in a less driven, less stressed way. My days would look really different…
So each week I’ve rejected my stab at writing My Definite Major Purpose that I had labored over the week before and start over. This week my reading of what’s called The Second Verity provided a really helpful insight–use my imagination. This week when someone asked a question about writing the DMP, there was another helpful insight–write it as you would talk to a child. Then I re-read the DMP of one of our instructors–aha! I’m starting to get it.
So here I go. Rose-colored glasses found and in place! Let’s see what I see this week!
Very interesting realization. I hate it when I think I have something settled and then discover it isn’t. It is just another layer of the onion being peeled. I am just going a little deeper in my discovery of myself. Keep on, my friend.
I’m with you on that—a little uncomfortable with “another layer of the onion being peeled” when I had thought it was settled. We’ll keep on together!
Both you ladies are in the process of offering the world something wonderful and uniquely you. I love it!
Shirley, so glad that you are starting to get it. From your blog rover friend.
It’s taking A LOT of concentrated effort, that’s for sure, John. But it pays off, doesn’t it?
It sure does.